No Surprise
by Mina Blythe
Summary: Kate's thought's on Neal and her actions. Spoilers through Bad Judgment just to be safe.


_This story is dedicated to my dear friend,_

_Fractured Fairytale, for the inspiration, friendship,_

_And for making me post this in the first place._

"**No Surprise"**

Neal had loved Kate with all that he was. He was a romantic. Kate was his princess and Neal wanted to save his princess and slay any dragon that dare threaten her. All the heists, all the schemes were for her, for a better life and for their future.

Kate did love him once upon a time, at least, until reality got in the way. She couldn't really pin the day that she stopped meaning those three words that were supposed to mean so much.

"I love you," Neal would tell her at least once in every visit, every phone call and every letter and she knew that he meant it. Love, for all his artifice, was the one thing that Neal would never use to con anyone. He would flirt shamelessly, but when it came to actual love, there was a line he wouldn't cross for any amount of money.

Kate wasn't sure why she didn't just tell him that it was over. She had planned to tell him many times before he was arrested, but the time was never right. Kate planned to say that he was an amazing man, that she would always love him but that she just wasn't _in_ love with him. She'd tell him that it was the best for both of them and that it had been coming for awhile. That conversation never came. Every time she got up the courage, he'd come home with flowers and cheap wine to fill up that stupid, wonderful, romantic bottle. He'd tell her she was beautiful and that he loved her and she'd say it back without even thinking.

When Neal was arrested, she didn't say anything because he looked so sad and broken, as he apologized to her. As though he were letting her down by being _human,_ and making one mistake and getting caught. He was heartbroken that he had to leave her and Kate remembered why she had once loved him so much.

So Kate visited him as often as she could. She'd make herself look pretty even though she knew that no matter what she wore Neal would find her beautiful, but she wanted to give him something to smile about. She'd laugh with him and for a second it would seem like old times. Times where love and Dean Martin songs were all you needed. Times of romance and cheap pizza and cheap wine and of his smile and dreams for the future. Times when they would sit and scheme and dream and plan heists. Then the guard would come and announce that visiting hours were over and reality rushed back in all its bleakness.

Halfway through Neal's prison sentence, Fowler contacted her. He asked about the music box. At first she told him nothing. She yelled and kicked him out of her apartment. She had Moz sweep the place for bugs. For awhile she even considered reporting Fowler to Agent Burke because even though he had put Neal in jail, he was honest and (for some inexplicable reason) he liked Neal.

Fowler was persistent and Kate eventually started listening. Fowler said that he wanted what was inside the music box, that she could sell the actual box. The sale would buy her a new identity and a new life. Kate tried to ignore it but she wanted out. More importantly, she wanted to be able to leave knowing that Neal would move on. Kate knew that he wouldn't move on unless she did something unforgivable and working with Fowler was that thing. Cheating, Neal would forgive. He would probably blame himself. Leaving and not speaking to him would only convince him he did something to offend her. Fowler was the best way to convince him it was over. Or so she told herself when her conscience caught up with her.

Kate knew it was cruel and hated herself for what she was doing to Neal. Every time she saw him, her heart broke. Every fiber of her being wished that he would just tell Fowler he didn't have the music box even if he did. She wishes that he would follow Peter's advice and just forget about her. She knows that Peter and Moz have told Neal that she's bad for him and they are right. Most, if not all, of the heists and cons were for her. If she asked him to steal the Hope Diamond he probably would. And to make matters worse, the job that enabled Peter Burke catch him was her idea. He'd thought it was too risky, but she got excited with the plan like she always did and he never liked telling her no. The long and the short of the matter is that she is bad for him.

The thing about Neal is that he's perfect. He is a gentleman and a bad boy, a sensitive artist and a daring criminal all wrapped up in a handsome package that _loved_ her. He was the fulfillment of every girlish fantasy that Kate had ever had. Neal thought she was beautiful when she was wearing sweats and no make-up. He thought she was beautiful when she cried and believed that all the art in the world was nothing compared to her smile.

The thing about Kate is, despite Neal's belief to the contrary, she isn't perfect. She was greedy and weak. She knew it. It's why she couldn't leave him. It's why she said yes to Fowler. She wanted to be comfortable. She wanted to leave him, but she wanted to know he was okay. She wanted it all. The problem with the two of them is that their relationship wasn't real. He was a fantasy living in the real world and Kate was real. When she said that it had been real, she was lying. Life with him wasn't real.

Peter asked her if she had ever loved Neal and she couldn't answer. There wasn't an easy answer that was true. Kate had loved him, just not as much as he loved her. She used him and broke his heart, in response he broke out of prison to save her. She had loved him once upon a time she supposed, but then again maybe she didn't. Maybe what she really loved was an empty bottle of wine and a wonderful dream of the future. The problem with beautiful dreams is that one has to wake up, and then the bleakness of reality always gets in the way.


End file.
